"Expect nothing, be grateful for everything."

and other things my mentor says, Part 2

I have two great mentors in my life - both have an uncanny ability to cut through my B.S. and help make me a better photographer and storyteller, such as I am.

I want to share two more things my photography mentor says, plus how I put his advice into practice.

Did you miss Part 1 of this article? Read it here.

“Expect nothing, be grateful for everything.”

Another mantra.

I spent July this year in beloved Ukraine, working on a collaborative story with The Raw Society, exploring the question “What’s it like over there?”, the question I’m asked almost every time I mention I’m going to or coming back from the country.

In 25 days of constant photography, I barely scratched the surface of that question.

Maria, my kind fixer, I’m sure was sick of me repeating this phrase every day, multiple times a day. Every time something didn’t work out and every time something did.

I wanted to see how long I could live in this mental space - to try to accomplish specific things, yes - but not let that cloud me from the unanticipated wonders of the universe.

Like Alla Nikolaevna Khyzhnyak, who has been displaced from Luhansk and now rents a house in a small town between Dnipro and Pokrovs’ke. A fortune teller sign hung on the fence outside of her house. Her bright red hair matched the shutters on the windows, and even as we pulled up, she was painting her gate the same bright red.

She brought us inside and told us our futures. She told us her past, too, and her opinions, fears and anticipations on the present war situation.

I’ll write much more on this story in the future, I predict. But also, expect nothing from me.

This reminds me of a funny story.

After 20 days of repeating “Expect nothing, be grateful for everything” I saw him.

We passed each other on a street in Kharkiv. He wore a black shirt with large white letters:

“EXPECT NOTHING.”

No way.

I chased him down, trying desperately to explain who I was and that all I needed was a photo of his shirt. I fumbled trying to explain the magical synchronicity of how he appeared in that shirt at that time.

But I was too eager and Maria was too far away to bail me out. He said “No photo.” and crossed the street.

I was disappointed, then I cracked up. Expect nothing, be grateful for everything.

Off the precipice

I keep this one at the bottom of my inbox. I’ve read it so many times that any time fear manifests in my mind, the words “Fear is a good thing” follow right behind it, taking away its power and filling me with curiosity.

Lamorris and I became friends.

We first met on a summer night in an area called “The Zone”, the city blocks surrounding the Human Services Campus in Phoenix, where people live on the streets adjacent to shelters and aid organizations.

He thought I was crazy when I asked, but Lamorris allowed me to come to his grandmother’s funeral in Chicago, family gatherings and more, showing me there was nothing to fear about getting close. Just kindness and acceptance.

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Who are you?

Give to the story.

Create, create, create.

Expect nothing, be grateful for everything.

Fear is a good thing.

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Like any good advice, these work only if you put them into practice.

Here’s my process:

I’ll contemplate the meaning of the advice, recite it in my mind, try to implement it, wonder if it worked, panic because nothing happened and then look back at my work and realize goddamn, that really helped.

Does it help me make better photos?

Yes.

But the real beauty happens within.

These simple phrases help cut through the normal chatter of my mind and open awareness to possibilities I would not have seen or felt before. Expectations, fears and ambitions are replaced by curiosity, love and wonder.

It’s a form of Letting Go and a much-needed part of my creative process.

And now I’m curious, dear reader, what is the best photographic advice you’ve received?